When God said "Let there be light," Chuck Norris replied, "Say please."
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass - at night.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there's no life there.
Chuck Norris can create enough wind power with one roundhouse kick to power Sri Lanka for forty days.
After the deaths of ten child actors, the producers of Sidekicks finally decided to cut the scene where Chuck Norris pats the kid on the back for winning the tournament.
When a reporter asked Chuck about his decision to shave his beard, Chuck replied, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." He then laughed a little bit, realizing that he was going to kill the reporter anyway.
Fniss.
/M
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